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Clear communication and setting boundaries are only a challenge when you have underlying unresolved trauma responses created in previous relationships which get triggered in your current relationships. Successful relationships begin with a successful relationship with yourself and then applying tools that enhance an interdependent relationship with two independent individuals.
Did you know?
Consciousness in relationships begins when you are aware of these old patterns and their responses so you can create new choices and responses. You also need to learn how to feel your past unresolved perceived traumas so that you are triggered less easily.
Relationships become your best teacher on the journey of discovering your true self. You learn to turn your attention inwards and soothe yourself instead of trying to control, convince, run away or freeze. Without this awareness, you are a slave to the whims of your old thinking patterns and automatic responses.
The 9 Modules
Understanding that the mind cannot tell the difference between a survival threat and a psychological threat.
You will learn the 4 instinctive reactions when you perceive a threat and how they manifest in perceived psychological threats. Although instinctive reactions are very effective for survival threats, they are extremely unhelpful for psychologically perceived threats.
We will dive deep into the 4 attachment styles and see how these are directly connected manifestations of your survival and psychological trauma reactions.
None of these are personality traits but rather habituated reactions to perceived trauma. These are often mistakenly applied to labeling the person. Awareness of these reactions opens up the possibility for more helpful responses.
The 5 love languages are well known but often very misunderstood. The way one displays the love language with their intentions dictates if the love language is ‘giving’ or ‘manipulative’. Furthermore, it is less about the action and more about the way the love language is manifested. We will delve into whether all these love languages are necessary or just preferences.
Understanding the different theories about pain-body and our unique perspective of what pain-body is and how it determines our reactions. You will learn about the core fear that triggers perceived trauma reactions and the resistance that keeps this body reaction alive through adulthood.
Learning how to meditate when you feel intense feelings so that unconscious pain-body can finally pass through you. This will prevent automatic reactive reactions that harm relationships and allow you the space to make choice responses that are helpful and productive in relationships.
After letting your feelings flow, you must learn how to address the underlying beliefs that keep you stuck and generate future suffering in relationships. You will also turn attention inwards to address your self-image that believes you will not survive without psychological needs.
Understanding the difference between values in relationships and desire/fear in relationships. You will learn how to create a value mission statement that becomes your path and potential deal-breakers in your relationships. Without a values mission statement, you will constantly oscillate between conflicting wants/fears without a clear direction.
Learning what boundaries are and how to implement them. This is a very confusing subject and even with clarity, boundaries can be challenging to apply practically. This creates freedom in your life as an individual and also in your relationships. Understanding why certain personalities need to have fewer boundaries and some personalities need to have more boundaries.
The steps for communicating without drama and the sabotaging cycle that escalates communication into fights and discord. You will learn how to take ownership and forgive without the resistance that comes up without doing the work. There are some simple guidelines that you can apply in your communications that can ensure that you get your desired results instead of constant fighting.
How it works